There is nothing like standing on a beach to remind you of what a minuscule speck each of us is in the scope of the universe. Those are the times you recognize your belief in a greater force of nature than your own limited understanding of your place in all of the beauty and wonder of all you can see and feel.

When I was in college, a friend told me I had a great ability to see all sides of a situation. I like to think so and believe I grew in that ability through reading, meeting people from all ends of society and traveling to other countries and parts of my own country to broaden my perspective. I don’t think I have to have had every experience to try and put myself in someone else’s place when trying to solve a problem.

Through the years, I have had many leadership positions that challenged me to find solutions to problems that affected more people than just my own family or friends. When I was President of the PTA at my children’s elementary school, I spent a lot of time in the office with the Principal and visiting with teachers. Parents who advocated for their own children often overlooked the needs of the entire student body. It was advocacy in motion and sometimes either frustrating or narrow in view. There is nothing wrong with standing up for your child, but sometimes you need to look at other children and the issues that teachers and schools are dealing with to help all children. If your problem is one that many children are facing, there should be ways to find solutions for all.

The same thing happened when I was President of my Neighborhood Association. I get that, too. Our homes are usually our greatest financial investment and what is happening in our own area is important. Once again, maybe your neighbors have the same issues or maybe your grievance is something based on just your own personal beliefs or desires. There are rules and regulations for all of us and we can always come together to find solutions.

Unfortunately, I have watched meetings in many groups become contentious and ugly rather than productive. I’ve seen this in families, churches, businesses, organizations of all sizes. People get defensive when defending their opinions. After all my years of taking classes in conflict resolution and group facilitation, I am still shocked when confronted with people who are going to stand their ground no matter what facts are presented to them.

Believe me, I’m not always right and I can get defensive, too. I’m just always trying to find that way to peace. I think it comes from being the oldest child who had to sit between siblings in the back seat of a car while they reached across me to hit each other.

And so, we come to the world today, where I have never in my almost 79 years seen such division. People I know are afraid of everyone who doesn’t look or believe like them or they are afraid they will lose all their money or power. Others are sure they are right because of their religious views or their own self-righteousness over people who don’t live just like them. And, never have I seen so many people who are only concerned with what happens to them. Those who try to see another point of view are called “woke” in a sarcastic way, while I just see an attempt at empathy.

I’ve obviously got more years behind me than ahead of me, but I still like to look at the Big Picture of what might work for most of us. Not everyone has been as fortunate as I have, nor had the opportunities or health I have. Many things are out of our control and we are trying to do the best we can. Mistakes are made in life and people pay for them in many heartbreaking ways. The best we can do is look at the universe and see how we can make a place for all of us to live in peace and some happiness.

If you don’t have a beach to go stand on, find a sky to watch. Look beyond yourself and try to find a place for peace and love in your heart.