Grand Time

October 23, 2012 //
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A friend once said to me that the only thing we can really give our kids is memories.  I had to agree.  When I think about this, it helps me put everything in perspective about buying things for kids vs spending time with them and how to balance all of it.  One thing grandparents know oh so well is how fast time flies.  When kids are little, parents think they will never outgrow acting like….well, acting like kids.  My mother once told me that there aren’t many little babies.  Absolutely true…they just don’t stay little very long.  They just don’t stay anything very long because they are growing and learning and changing at lightning speeds.  It’s all a blink in time.

Being obsessed with time lately, I’d been thinking about my grandchildren and how little time I have left with them..  I’m not going anywhere, but they sure are.  The oldest one is 15 1/2 and just got his learner’s permit.  The oldest three are all over 6′ tall.  They’re starting to date and have their own activities and jobs.  Where was I fitting into any of this?

I’m very lucky to have all eight of my grandkids in town.  I watch my friends flying all over the country to visit their families and be a part of their lives.  I can’t begin to say how much having my family here has meant to me as I have ventured into each of the new chapters of my life…widow, new jobs, loss of my son, and now retirement.  Having them here is my strength and my joy.  The times we all get together are the best with a noisy jumble of families and activities.  I absolutely love watching them interact and enjoy each other.

BUT…I wasn’t spending any time with the kids.  When we are all together, they are talking to each other.  I go to their games, their assemblies, see them at family gatherings and take them on special outings.  They range in age from 11-15 with a three year old thrown in the mix.  Six boys and two girls.  What did they think about me?  What did they know about their grandfather?  What did I know about them?  So, I decided to start taking at least one of them to dinner each week – just the two of us.  I’m on my second round of dinners now.  It’s random – I pick a night I’m not busy and call one of them until I find one who wants to go.  They’re under no obligation to have to go at any time.

The first time around, they didn’t know what to think.  I let them pick the restaurant that time and learned a whole lot of new information.  Who knew that two of them like sushi so much?  Not me.  This time around, I’m introducing them to new places.  The conversations are wonderful.  We talk about everything imaginable and I answer questions on anything they ask.  And they do ask.  They ask about all kinds of things in the world and want to hear what I say.  How great is that?!  I hear about school and their friends and what’s up in their worlds.  I don’t judge, but sometimes give a loving comment.

The outcome of the dinners, which are the grandest way to spend time I can think of, is that we all love it.  They have all gone home to tell their parents how much they liked it.  They can’t wait for the next one.  I know them better and am prouder of them than ever.  They are incredibly nice, kind, smart young people and I am so proud of their parents for the job they have done.  Can there be anything better than this?  It’s a two way street for learning and loving.   How lucky can I be?

Time…it’s what we have to give each other.

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Categories Family, Reflections

Pumpkin Patches

October 22, 2012 //
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My childhood Halloween memories include jack-o-lanterns, but I don’t remember where we got them.  They must have come from the grocery store.  It wasn’t until I married a man who was in love with Halloween that I discovered the pumpkin patches.  Every year we headed for the country to find the best pumpkins.  Around here, it was in Bixby and we stopped at the pumpkin farms to go into the patches and pick our own.  Everyone had to have a pumpkin, with Daddy’s being the biggest, and we took them home to carve.  Over the years, the pumpkin patches got a little more sophisticated and added animals and places to pose for photos and sold cider and gourds and corn stalks.  Halloween was becoming a big deal everywhere!  The pumpkins got bigger and bigger and then they came out with the tiny ones and the odd ones and it was an adventure.  Even after our kids were grown and in college or married, we had to go get our pumpkins.  I miss watching him carve the faces – he would be amazed at the design industry built around pumpkin carving today.

Our grandchildren have always gone to the pumpkin patches.  Now the atmosphere is like a fall carnival with hay & corn mazes, more rides, and higher piles of pumpkins.  This year I was thinking about how much time the farmers had spent on all these extras and wonder if they make enough money selling pumpkins to cover the costs or if it’s just as fun for them as it is for the rest of us.  It’s kind of an innocent tradition for our family and bring memories of long drives, nights at the kitchen table watching Daddy carve the pumpkins, and then the final lighting of the jack-o-lanterns on Halloween night.  Boo! – to your family from mine…

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Categories Family, Holidays

Van Buren, Arkansas

October 20, 2012 //
2

Yesterday was a trip to Van Buren, Arkansas.  Yes, I am truly a senior when I am traveling to see fall foliage and ride trains!  The historic part of Van Buren is charming and well preserved.  They only messed up a few buildings when the siding salesmen came through trying to modernize it back in the 60s.  It was fun to walk down to the Arkansas River and see the wide water, unlike Tulsa where it is pretty dry right now.  I liked the old Anheuser Busch building with the original eagle logo still intact.

Riding the train up to Winslow, the highest incorporated city (pop 399) in Arkansas, was a trip back in time.  We were on a 1948 car called the Silver Stream and there were other cars from the 1920s.  You could also ride in the caboose.  It took a bit to slow down from the fast paced ways we usually travel, but it was worth it.  The drought has hit all the states, but we still saw beautiful fall colors as we went higher.  After traveling at 8-9,000 feet in the Sierras this summer, it seems funny to think of 1,729 as up in the mountains.  The conductors were train buffs of all ages who volunteer their time and kept it lively with their commentary.  There was a car full of second graders from one of our stops.  On the way back, we stopped to let them out at their school – how fun is that?  That must have been the noisy car, especially going through the tunnel when they tell them to scream!  I tried to imagine traveling across country like this a century ago.  As always, it depended on which kind of car you were able to afford as to whether you were scrunched in with strangers, loud conversations and interesting smells or whether you could ride in style in a private car.  It beat the stage coach or wagon.

Coming home, we detoured north from Vian and took the scenic route past Lake Tenkiller towards Tahlequah.  What a beautiful drive!  Every place has its own beauty and this is one of my favorites in my home state.  It’s pretty wild and wooly in those hills, but it’s gorgeous country. There’s another drive where you go by the lake more, but I loved the trees.  I’m so grateful to get to enjoy a perfect 75 degree, cloudless day without anything pressing….

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Categories History, Places, Travel

BBQ

October 18, 2012 //
0

I like all kinds of barbecue and am not picky about where I go. I like atmosphere as well as good food. Sedona AZ has a great little place called Sally’s BBQ,

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tucked away in the main area.  I recently discovered JL’s in Pryor, which was excellent. Down home atmosphere with lots of seating. Parking lot is full of cars & trucks, even in the middle of the afternoon. Big servings for big appetites, served in a cafeteria style line.

Albert G’s has been one of my favorites – not just because the owner, Chuck Gawey, grew up next door to me and I love his whole family. The food is great, reasonably priced and close by. I usually get the 3 meat platter (ribs, sausage, and pulled pork are my choices – or the bologna for one), and split it with a friend. The tabouli is like his mom used to make for us and I always get the potato salad. The chicken specials are also yummy. Can’t wait for him to open his new location in downtown, just for the fun of it!

Today, I finally got to taste Burn Co. BBQ on 11th St. They close as soon as they sell out, so you have to get there early and I kept missing it. At 11:15, the place was packed. The line is part of the atmosphere and today they gave samples, which people were sharing in line. My choice today was “The Fatty,” which is a thick sandwich of a slice of a loaf made of ground beef, sausage, bacon, chopped meats. It was pretty spectacular, no matter how guilty you feel ordering it. Their sauce is a little spicy, but not too much. My other choice was the “Contest Platter,” one of the day’s specials. The ribs were thick and tender and the beans were good. Lordie…the candied bacon is addictive, following the current rage for bacon in any form. I got it to go, but loved the cramped seating. I shared it all with a friend with some left over. They open at 10:30 and probably have a line immediately, but it’s worth it.

Those are some of my favorites, which are all different kinds of barbecue…what are yours?

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Categories Places, Restaurants, Travel

Halloween House

October 16, 2012 //
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When I was a little girl, there was a couple who lived on 21st Street who decorated their yard for every holiday.  They used yards of tulle and other simple decorations, but it was always a treat to drive by.  The May Pole was one of the favorites.  When I was about 30 with four kids of my own, I knocked on their door and asked to interview them for a class project for a journalism class I was taking at TU.  She was a nurse and they had no children of their own, so they did this for everyone.  They must have decorated for at least 20 years as my kids remember it, too.

I admire people who use their time and resources just to delight people they don’t even know.  They must get a special joy from knowing they have inspired so many smiles. There is a house, just south of 16th & Cheyenne, that gives me such a good feeling.  They do it up big and welcome anyone to walk around their entire yard, front & back.  That’s a brave thing in an age when people are afraid of anyone coming to their front door.  Drive by & see their “Monster Manor” and see if you can resist a chuckle.  

Thank you to these nice people!  Happy Halloween to all!!!

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Categories Holidays

The Zoo

October 15, 2012 //
1

I went to the zoo with my three year old granddaughter yesterday.  It was the perfect cloudless, 75 degree day to enjoy.  I’m having flashbacks of myself at zoos as a child, teenager, mother, and grandmother.  Zoos hold an endless fascination for all ages.  The little ones are in awe of everything because it’s new and different.  They are imprinting images that are reflected in their picture books, on television, on iPads and everything else they can learn from.  Their little sponge brains are taking it all in on a fresh level with few preconceptions.  Even the toddlers can understand why watching the chimpanzees is funny.  Eliza pointed out the Mommy and Daddy and the baby, which she did with all the animals.  She was trying to relate them to the world she understands.  Everyone was laughing at their antics as they played with each other and the young one annoyed the older ones as they swung too close or jumped over them or woke them up.  I think that is the appeal.  We humanize the animals or compare them to ourselves.  Maybe it makes us feel more evolved or maybe it makes us understand our animal side.  The flamingos were standing around, as they do, and then a couple of them got annoyed.  Their feathers ruffled and they got into an argument, in human terms, then pecked at each other until someone won.  He, because we all assume males are more aggressive, strutted around the yard, rising to his full height.  I think I’ve seen this before…with humans.  You just have to laugh…we love the zoo!

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Categories Places

Always…

October 13, 2012 //
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I started my morning watching the incredible Paul McCartney’s “Kisses on the Bottom,” originally shown on PBS Great Performances.  One of the songs he sings is “Always,” which was my mother’s favorite song.  She sang it to us as a lullaby and then sang it all the rest of our lives.  The lyrics make me teary…”I’ll be loving you, always.  Not for just an hour, not for just a day, not for just a year, but always…”  I hear those words when I make my bed the way she taught me, when I look at my own children and grandchildren.  I always smile..

Today, I’m having breakfast with friends from Kindergarten, grade school, junior high, high school, college.  We’ve been through playgrounds and birthday parties, boyfriends and proms, classes up through college, marriages and divorces, births and deaths.  We laugh, share, gossip, cry and wrap our arms around each other.  These are Always friends and I treasure them.  We mean more to each other every year.

I sing “Always” to my youngest granddaughter, Eliza.  All the other grandkids are too big to listen to me right now.  I sing it in my heart when I watch my children and grandchildren.  Everyone needs someone in their life to sing this song to them…

I’ll be loving you, Always
With a love that’s true Always.
When the things you’ve planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.

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Categories Family, Memories, Music, Reflections

’bout time!

October 12, 2012 //
4

“Bout time! Time for me to retire, time for me to start writing, time for me to rethink my every days. Time is one of life’s great treasures. Mitch Albom imagined “The Time Keeper,” the story of the person who invented time. Before then, all beings lived as other living beings do, measuring their days by instinct and not by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, eons. Only human beings measure time, waste time and save time, tying themselves to it by all the gadgets we have invented to make sure we don’t lose it. Life is all about time and how we use it, so I’m going to spend time each day thinking about something that I noticed or heard that sparked one of my random bursts of confetti thoughts. Getting the blog was the first thing and the hardest part of it all. Now I can relax and enjoy it…

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Categories Reflections
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