Archives for category: Family

My Five Fears

August 11, 2015 //

As I very rapidly approach 70 in the next few months, I can’t help but be aware that this age seems really really old to most of the world. What kicks me about it is the fact that you can’t ignore you have more years behind you than ahead of you. But that’s been true for a long time, so this is awareness that I have even less time today than I did yesterday. There are things that scare me to varying degrees as I approach yet another milestone, so I’ve narrowed it down to five. These are kind of in order and I know they’re pretty universal from conversations I have with friends.

5. Fear of the earth not lasting. This is a new one but I sometimes wonder if any of us will survive as our planet goes through its own aging process, exacerbated by our own mishandling of our natural resources. Will the west coast fall off into the sea, will a giant split drop middle America into the earth, will global warming burn us all up, will the toxic pit in Butte, Montana, pollute the waters of the west? This one goes on and on and there’s not much I can do. My fear here is more for future generations because I’ve been able to enjoy earth’s beauty in my lifetime. I guess dying in some kind of global shift won’t be any worse at my age than dying in a hospital bed. I’d probably be smarter to be afraid of being shot since that seems to be just as likely in our country these days.

4. Fear of outliving my money. I’m ok, thanks to Social Security, investments and a part time job. I own my home and am relatively healthy, so how long will what I have last and will I still have some to leave to my kids? I have Medicare and supplemental insurance to help with health costs. But still, how much is enough? You can read all the charts and listen to the experts and you’re still not sure.

3. Fear of either my mind going before my body or my body going before my mind. Nobody wants either of these and it’s not a random thing to wonder about. Even if you exercise your body and your mind, you’re still wearing out. Which part will go first – or next? I find myself walking much more carefully to avoid injuries to bones and parts that many of my friends are having replaced. We’re a generation of bionic elderlies, thanks to modern medicine. Our minds are full, overflowing, with information, so full it takes longer to access those mental files. The wear and tear on our bodies is inevitable. We work with what we’ve got.

2. Fear of not getting everything done. Sigh. There are so so very many things I want to do. Places to go, people to see, books to read, things to organize for my children. Some days I seem to be on frenzy trying to finish all that I’ve planned. As long as I can still go and do and move, I can work on this, but the list is endless. So many beautiful places to visit, so many people I want to see. The Bucket List only seems to get longer. And my checklists are never-ending. Moving along…

1. Fear of losing those I love. I’ve lost my parents, my husband and my son. I’ve lost other family and friends. I can’t control this, but I don’t want to lose any more. I’m pretty stoic about it most of the time, but there are times this becomes the most palpable fear I have. I don’t want to lose any more family or close friends. That’s it. Damn it! And I know this is unrealistic, but it’s there for me to worry about.

Whew! OK, I got those out there in public for all to see. That always makes it easier, especially since I know that others share these same concerns and we can even laugh about it when we’re together. When we’re alone, these thoughts creep in. My cure for the worries to remember how much time I’ve had, how many wonderful memories of places I’ve been and people I’ve known and loved. Most of these worries are because my life is good and I want it to continue. I’m grateful that I have a past worth remembering. I’m grateful for every day I have with my family and friends on this beautiful planet. That’s not a worry. That’s something to smile about.

Tags aging, fears, worry

Categories Family, Friends, Memories, Nature, Reflections

Waiting for Star Wars

June 12, 2015 //

Here we are, almost 40 years later, waiting for the next Star Wars movie to open. When the original was released, I read about this phenomenon in the newspaper and took the family to see it. My youngest, my son, was only about 1 1/2 years old, so it was his first movie. I remember spending part of the movie walking around the back of the theatre with him, little knowing how much it would affect his and our lives. From then until now, I can’t remember a time that Star Wars wasn’t around me – or under my feet.

There were the movies, anxiously awaited by the entire family. The first thing we recorded when we got a VCR was Star Wars. I still have the tape somewhere. And the toys! Packed in my garage are the figures and the tiny guns that I picked up so many times that I can’t count. The toys I waited in line for, the special figures only available from some cereal or by mailing off something. Some are stored in the big Darth Vader carrying case that’s out there somewhere. There’s the Millennium Falcon and the At-At and the Storm Troop Carrier (it actually spoke when you pushed the button) and planes and one of those big snow creatures they rode and no telling what else. My son collected lunch boxes and his Star Wars box is a prize. Later, we had Star Wars talking figures and large collector figures and whatever else came along. By this time, my son was in college and my daughters were marrying guys who had also grown up with Star Wars. One of my sons-in-law has his figures intact with their guns, packed away for safe-keeping. Nothing to snicker about either. This is important stuff.

They re-released the first three episodes in theaters when my oldest daughter was pregnant with her first son. She could feel him jumping as we watched our favorite scenes. Another generation has come along and all eight of my grandkids are familiar with the stories and the characters. I was at a 2 year old’s birthday party, a child named after my son, and he knew Darth Vader in his limited vocabulary. Good job, Dad! Here’s my son with one of my grandsons many years ago, passing down the fun…

So here we go again and I couldn’t be more excited. The next series will start and the comparisons to the old ones will be rampant on social media and we’ll all be swept into this wonderfully fun world again. Last week, I traveled to Oakland, California and was amused to hear all the references around the Bay area. First, I spotted this book in a gift shop. Where was this series when I needed it for my kid?

Then we drove by the entrance to George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch, pointed out by a local. She remarked that the woods we were passing through were the setting for the Battle of Endor (she didn’t say that and I had to look it up). You know the one where the rebels and the Ewoks fight the stormtroopers in the woods. Of course, you know. That great scene where they rode those fast things that raced through the trees. Anyway, I could see what inspired it and where it was filmed (except for the computer stuff, of course). It looked like this area…

I learned that the cranes that we kept passing on the way across the Oakland Bay Bridge into San Francisco were the inspiration for many of the big machines in Star Wars. After all, George Lucas passed them all the time. It makes sense. From then on, I tried to capture the images as I was driven by them. Can’t you see them marching across the movie screen?

I guess I’m getting too excited. There are still months to go and more trailers to entice us and more products to show up in the stores and I know that we will all be in that theatre, waiting for the music and the opening and the familiar heroes. I’m excited that there’s a new generation getting their own episodes and new parents walking around picking up the beloved toys and just crazy fun for this old grandmother to share. Silly…

Tags Endor, Ewoks, Oakland CA, Star Wars

Categories Entertainment, Family, Friends, Memories, Photography, Places, Reflections, Travel

Graduations…

May 21, 2015 //

The rituals of our lives are the moments built in to make us stop and reflect, like it or not. Births, birthdays, marriages, deaths…and graduations. My oldest grandchild graduated from high school this week, the third generation to graduate at that school, the oldest generation being me. A cause to pause. Yikes!

My first thought is disbelief that these years have flown so quickly, these years from my own graduation through all those other rituals to get to this point. All the memories flood back as everyone in the family compares it to his or her own graduation and all our memories become part of this present day. My other grandchildren are watching and taking it all in. I have two more graduating next year and a couple more a few years later and two more on down the line and then a gap until the last of the eight graduates in 2028. Another moment to pause. I’ll be in my 80s by that time. Oh my…

My second thought as I listened to “Pomp and Circumstance” with the same teary eyes I’ve had for every graduations since my own was sadness for those in our family who weren’t here for this moment. That was replaced with gratitude for all who made it. This boy was surrounded by both his grandmothers, his parents and brother, three aunts, an uncle, and three of his cousins. That’s pretty good. At the party his parents had to celebrate his graduation, he had all the others, all the grandparents, parents, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins, along with friends and family friends. You can tell he is feeling the love!

My thoughts rambled between happiness for him, hoping that all the good lessons and experiences he’s had are embedded in him to protect and launch him into college, that he’s learned from the less than great experiences along the way, and tremendous love for this kid who is off to see the world, one step at a time. All of our emotions are running high as we take the last pictures with him in his cap and gown and watch him drive off to the all-night party following graduation. A sigh, a smile and a full heart for me.

When I watched the seniors proceed to their seats to the music of the student orchestra playing that familiar piece, I saw them all looking around. There were shouts and cheers and applause from family and friends as they entered the rowdily dignified atmosphere that is a graduation these days. They all were looking for the familiar faces of those they love, those who were here to celebrate their success. They all wanted to know where their parents, grandparents, relatives and friends were. That says something about the experience, doesn’t it? In this picture, my grandson has spotted his parents. His look says it all.

So another class has thrown their caps in the air…

The balloons have fallen, because who is ever too old for balloons…

Another ritual is in the books for my family. More memories, more fun, more love. We don’t forget these moments that help us measure the treasured minutes, hours, days and years of our lives.

Tags family, Graduation

Categories Events, Family, Memories, Reflections

The Hard Times

May 8, 2015 //

Putting together the puzzle of who you are is a lifelong process, if you like that kind of puzzle. The older you get, the more you wonder… The more you wonder, the more pieces you want to find… Don’t we all wish we’d asked more questions of our grandparents and parents? The information comes to us piecemeal and we don’t begin to connect the stories until later…when we wonder…

My mother didn’t tell me too many stories of her childhood until she was in her last years. I didn’t ask her mother anything, although I spent a lot of time with her. I studied the photos and put things together through my life, but we didn’t talk about it. I knew my grandfather died when my mother was 5 and that she spent a lot of time with his mother, her grandmother, in the house my aunt and uncle later lived in, across from Central Park in Ardmore, OK. I knew my grandmother had siblings she loved very much who lived nearby, less than an hour away. I saw some of them at times during my life. That was pretty much all I knew about my grandmother’s family until very recently. To think how much time I spent with my precious grandmother, who gave me such a sense of adventure and unconditional love always, and to not have a picture of who she was.

I knew she was widowed at age 27, left in the depression with three children. Her husband had left her a small neighborhood grocery and she owned her home, which gave them dignity even when the gas was turned off, according to my mother. The kids always worked and all three turned out to be successful members of society. When times got better.

The hard times were long back then. We’re talking about Oklahoma in the depression years now. Late in my grandmother’s life, she told my mother the story of her wedding day. My mother didn’t tell it to me until shortly before her own death, many years later. I’m glad she told me. My grandmother said my grandfather showed up at her parents’ farm in his wagon with a brown horse and a buffalo blanket, brown on one side and black on the other, to pick her up to get married. My grandfather’s best friend, his best man, was with him and commented, “Where’d you find this pretty little thing?” My great-grandparents handed her a bouquet of flowers and she left to get married. She was 18 and he was about 41. Their short years together were sweet, although my mother said he may have known he was sick when he married her. He died at age 50 of Bright’s Disease, a kidney disease that is treatable today.

So, that’s the picture I have in my mind, even though I’ve never seen a photo of my grandparents together. Here’s a photo of my grandmother (on the right) in a youthful moment

And here’s my grandfather, swinging two lovely young things in his single days.Through the miracles of emails and internet and social media, I’ve connected with relatives I didn’t know before over the years and we’ve shared photos and stories. My cousin, actually my mother’s cousin, sent me photos of my grandmother’s parents, which gave me my first look at those unknown pieces of my life puzzle.

Here’s my great-grandmother, Ida Mae. I knew they lived on a farm, but had no clue what it looked like. Not the painted picture perfect home I had in my mind…Here’s my great-grandfather, Benjamin, working hard in about 1931.

These pictures help form the pictures in my story. It suddenly dawns on me what it really meant for my grandmother to leave the house where she and her many siblings lived and worked so hard to move away to start a new life. I had pictured all of them standing in the living room of their home while they handed her the flowers. Now I see what that scene really must have looked like…much sweeter really.

I’d seen statistics on my great-grandparents on my Ancestry.com family tree, slightly wondering why they died in Vinita, a long way from home. My cousin filled in the details for me. Not long after the photos were taken (and I’ve always wondered who had a camera and who took the pictures out there in the country), my grandparents were taken to the asylum in Vinita, Oklahoma. They were admitted for exhaustion and dementia. I don’t know what that meant back then, but can understand the exhaustion. In 1932, my great-grandmother, the lovely woman in these photos, died and was buried in the asylum cemetery with no marker. There was no money in those hard years. My great-grandfather died in 1934. I’ve seen his place of death listed as Vinita, but my cousin said her father went to get him and he’s buried near them, near home. My cousin has visited the site in Vinita and seen the records, kept in a box on little cards, which she wasn’t allowed to take or photograph.

This news brought it all home and connected a lot of pieces for me. I see the women I come from, strong in all that life threw at them. I’ve written of my father’s family in Kentucky, where my great-grandmother was married to an alcoholic tobacco farmer, blacksmith and died when my grandmother was 12. I looked for her grave and realized that she must be buried in an unmarked grave either in the Catholic cemetery or on the land where she lived.

I could go on about the lives of the women in my DNA, the stories I’m discovering about the lives they lived before I either knew or discovered them, but we probably all have this in our lives. There were hard times for all of them, even the ones who had easier lives, just as we have our own brand of hard times in each generation. I know that what I’ve learned gives me strength and fills in blanks about my parents, my grandparents and those before them. I doubt they realized their stories would pass on to me and to my children and grandchildren. While we’re living, we don’t think of ourselves as chapters…do we? We are…

My ancestors, my family, me. So many more pieces to find…

Tags depression, Oklahoma

Categories Family, Photography, Reflections

Earth Day Every Day

April 22, 2015 //

Celebrating Earth Day makes me remember all the beauty of our own country that I’ve seen throughout my life. In the darkest of times, standing in nature has restored my soul so that I had the strength to go on, not knowing what would come next. I can’t imagine the future for our/my children and grandchildren and great-grandchilren and all who are to come if we cannot preserve the natural beauty that has us as it’s greatest threat.

Recently, I was sad to read that this has become a political issue in our already divided government houses. A majority of our senators voted to sell our national forests. The fact that they could vote for this, even if they think it could never happen, shows a decided ignorance of what can happen if we don’t all speak out. A development is threatening the rim of the Grand Canyon, a place that should be sacred to all of us. There’s a list of the senators who have voted against our forests in this article: http://unofficialnetworks.com/2015/04/republican-senators-just-voted-to-sell-off-your-national-forests

There’s not much I can say, but I can share some of the photos I’ve taken through the years, photos of places I simply never want to forget, places that touched me in my heart and all my senses.

Denali Highway in Alaska…

Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park

A beach in Naples, Florida

Ross Creek Cedars in Montana

Talimena Drive in Oklahoma

Yosemite National Park in California

Butterfly on wildflower in Montana

Sweet Creek in Oregon

Chickasaw National Recreation Area, Oklahoma

May we celebrate Earth Day today and always…

Categories Family, Friends, Nature, Reflections

An Eagle Family

March 28, 2015 //

We love to see eagles soar, but I love watching them nest even more. I’ve watched eagle cams, cameras placed by eagles’ nests, before, sometimes with tragic storylines, and am always fascinated. It’s reassuring to watch the parental instincts kick in and know that we share some of those traits with other species. And baby eagles are cute, like all babies.

This year, I’ve been watching the eagle cam in Hanover, Pennsylvania. All of my screen shots have this credit:

Image courtesy of Pennsylvania Game Commission, HDOnTap and Comcast Business)

The eagle cam website is: http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt?open=514&objID=1592549&mode=2

When I was in high school, our team mascot was the Eagle and our publication of student works was titled Eyrie, which is the name for an eagle (or other large bird of prey) nest. So I’ve been watching this Pennsylvania eyrie from the comfort of my home office on my computer or iPad for the past few weeks. It started with the eagle on the nest being covered up to her neck in snow as she sat patiently waiting for her two eggs to hatch. This week they both hatched and today I started my day with the treat of both parents in the nest with the babies.

When I first tuned in, the mother (the larger of the two birds) was sitting there, looking around with her eagle eye, and watching snow start to fall again. I’m sure her thoughts (because I’m relating her to my experiences as a mother) are “Snow!!! Again??? Dang!” At one point, she peeked under herself like she was telling the babies to stay still. Later she actually snapped at the snow, catching some for a drink, I suppose. And the wind began to blow her feathers. They’ve fixed the nest up pretty nicely, as I watched them rearrange the grasses before the eggs hatched. And they’ve been stocking up on fish. There’s a wing there, too, so I’m guessing they got a smaller bird. Anyway, there’s plenty of food around.I didn’t have to watch long before the father showed up. The expression on eagles’ faces is always stern, so it’s hard to tell if the mother was happy or not. I have to go with their body language, I guess. He hung around, looking like he didn’t know what to do and then picked up a stick, a large one. And then he moved it to the other side, getting in the mother’s face to do it. Not hard to interpret what she was thinking here…She got up at that point. I mean what else is she going to do with wiggly eaglets underneath her and him rearranging her nest right in her face?The eaglets turned to the mother for food, of course. I’m not up on my eagle parenting and I had a husband who helped me with babies, so I’m not sure if this father is the norm, but he stood around looking like he didn’t know what to do while the mother started feeding them. He had picked up the fish and brought them home, to his credit. Big fish! He was walking around, watching the mother feed them when the camera stopped, which it does every once in awhile. I just checked again and he’s gone and the mother is back on the nest. I love to watch her settle down on the babies because she rocks side to side while she gets in position, appearing to be rocking them to sleep. That’s my interpretation, again based on my own motherhood.

What a unique experience it is to be able to watch a live feed of these mighty birds as they raise their babies. I know it can get seriously sad because there are so many things that can happen to babies before they leave the nest, but it is so very engaging to watch them go through it. The eagles stare towards the camera sometimes and I wonder if they sense they are being watched. Their expression is the same mine would be if I saw a camera there, but that’s always their expression.

Please take time to visit the website and watch this family – soon!!! The babies are growing. I guarantee it beats what’s on television most of the time! Really!

Tags Eagle nest, eaglets, eyrie, Hanover Eagle Cam, Pennsylvania Game Commission

Categories Entertainment, Family, Nature, Reflections

Cinderella – Awesome Girl!

March 21, 2015 //

As a little girl, I devoured books of all kinds, but I had a love affair with fairy tales and magic, advancing into the OZ books as I grew older. I can remember checking out anthologies of fairy tales over and over from the library. I don’t know if Cinderella was my favorite, but I loved the story. The Disney animated version came out when I was about 4, so I may have seen it later in a re-release.

We had a set of books called My Book House at home. I still have the well worn set, which I read and re-read through my childhood. One volume had the story of Cinderella, so I may have read this one before I saw the movie. Or at least around the same time. This is adapted from the French version, which is the one we all know so well. No matter how many versions I read or saw, I believed them all. I was a little girl who got caught up in the magic and didn’t really care if it was plausible or not. I loved these stories.

The Disney version of the story is definitely a classic because who doesn’t love seeing Gus Gus and Jacques outsmart the wicked cat, Lucifer? Who doesn’t want a plump Godmother to appear and wave her magic wand and sing “Bibbidi, Bobbidi, Boo?” And a handsome prince to fall in love with. Of course. The vivid colors and wonderful songs and humorous characters are favorites around the world. I met a young African American girl yesterday who said it was her favorite movie as a child. We all seem to identify with Cinderella, even in her blonde-haired, blue-eyed version.

Several years ago, I was working with a curriculum called “Different and the Same,” developed by Mr. Rogers’ company for students in grades 1-3. The programs are wonderful and I was privileged to be able to take this into some of our public schools to talk to the students about diversity. One of the units was called “Cinderella and Me,” and my research while preparing for classes found that there are over 1,200 versions of the Cinderella story, which appears in every, yes every, culture. There are even versions with boys in the lead role. I know of a cowboy and an Irish male version, among others. Because many of the students I met were Hispanic and Native American, I took versions from those cultures with me to read to them. You can’t imagine the joy on their faces seeing versions with heroes and heroines who looked like them. I borrowed the Hispanic version, but I still have my copy of “The Rough Faced Girl,” an Algonquin Cinderella. Look at this illustration of the cruel sisters off to try and marry the “Invisible Being.”

I also have a copy of the Thai version of the Disney classic, which a friend gave me to show the students. It was an easy lesson to show them that children around the world enjoy the same things.My grandchildren have grown up mostly with the Disney version. I hadn’t though much about it in the last years until I heard that Walt Disney Co. was bringing out a live version of Cinderella. I was a little doubtful, thinking that it might be a bit silly, being a live movie from a cartoon. Still, it looked interesting and I took my 5-year old granddaughter along with my friend and her 6-year old granddaughter. They were both familiar with the animated version, being of a princess generation. Like all little girls, these two have their own personalities, with my granddaughter liking dresses and frills and her friend liking monsters and sporty clothes. Mine hadn’t been to a movie except animated ones, so this was a definite adventure.

Well, I have to tell you that the reason that we love Disney movies is still there. This is a wonderful version, one that I keep thinking about. The story is ages old, but there was magic and love and humor and some lessons to be learned, no matter how old you are. I sat down in the theater next to a couple I know well, who laughed that they didn’t have their grandkids here as an excuse, so they came by themselves.

In this modern age with amazing computer generated images to take your breath away, the movie is lush and the characters are well developed. In this one, we learn more about Cinderella’s parents and their life before the mother dies. At one point, my friend’s granddaughter was frightened that everyone would die, since we had seen Cinderella lose both of her parents. The evil step-mother is still evil, but we have more of her story and there is a chance you might even sympathize with her situation in life, although not her treatment of her stepdaughter. I found that very brave of the movie makers to not make her just a black and while villainess. At my age, you can have a second of pity for her. A second. There’s still no excuse for being mean, no matter what has happened to you.

Cinderella promised her mother to always “Have courage and be kind.” How simple does that sound? Those words get Cinderella through all the cruelty that her stepmother and comical stepsisters heap on her and win the heart of the Prince, who has his own issues with his father and his lot in life. This is no wimpy Cinderella and mindless Prince. They actually discuss what his marrying a non-princess will mean. They make choices. Very cool.

I was mesmerized with the scenes where the Fairy Godmother worked her magic, without uttering one single Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo that I detected, although the loudness of the sound track scared my granddaughter. She was also frightened by the final scene with the Stepmother, although I reminded her that she should know that Cinderella will be ok and marry the prince. Such is the way our minds suspend what we know in the throes of a story. Who knows what goes on in the minds of our little ones? I was more obsessed with the tiny waist Cinderella had, hoping they used computers for that and didn’t cinch up the lovely actress. That’s where I am in life.

In the end, this will be another Disney classic, another version of the timeless story. The final conclusion was that we all loved it. My friend and I were actually blown away, in our grandmother ways. I plan to return with my three daughters, daughter-in-law and 13-year old granddaugher, if she’ll go with us. Me? I recommend you read all the versions of Cinderella you can find, watch all the versions you can see. We’re following a tradition that has found its way around the world again and again through centuries of telling the story. This new one is definitely a keeper!

Tags Cinderella, fairy tales, My Book House, The Rough Faced Girl, Walt Disney

Categories Books, Entertainment, Family, Reflections

You Hurt My Feelings…

March 11, 2015 //

When I was a little girl, the worst thing I could do was to hurt someone’s feelings. It was bad enough to have my own feelings hurt, but hurting someone else was even more painful. Talk about feeling lower than low. It was the Golden Rule ingrained in me from the very beginning.

I still feel that way. Even in these days of empowerment, standing up for ourselves, and saying what you think rather than holding it back, there is something to be said for the childhood lesson we should have all learned.

How can you not hurt someone’s feelings by bullying, making racist remarks, or not respecting each other’s religions, sexual orientation, nationality or other beliefs? I’m speaking of adults now. We can still hurt each other’s feelings, even though we use all kinds of adult terms to describe it.

These days I feel more and more like the little girl I was. How cruel people can be. And, I still wonder how they feel when they know they hurt someone’s feelings. They can’t really feel good about themselves, can they?

Maybe we all need a little time out these days.

Tags Hurt feelings

Categories Family, Friends, Reflections

Pillar of Strength

February 21, 2015 //

My family has gone through some pretty scary illnesses, the kind that bring an outpouring of responses from the people around you. During this most recent episode, there were lots of people who prayed and kept us in their thoughts. Having been through it before, I have strong feelings and have kind of come to terms with my feelings about it.

I never pray for someone to be healed or for miracles, although I do believe miracles can happen. The reason I don’t do that is because it puts God or whichever power you pray to in the position of making decisions on who gets a disease or gets hurt and who gets healed or spared. If you and all the people you know pray and it doesn’t work, does that mean you deserved it or didn’t pray hard enough or what? Why would I think that my family deserves to be damned or saved any more than anyone else, that we would be the chosen ones today or flicked away tomorrow? Why would I want to feel like my God let me down if it doesn’t work out? I can guarantee you are mad and scared and floundering and wishing there were someone to blame or yell at and I really don’t think it needs to be God. You are shaking your fist at nature and all the variables it brings to our lives.

What I’ve learned is that the power of prayer and wonderful thoughts is very, very strong because there is no way you can’t feel the energy from all the good vibes that are being sent your way. You and your family are wrapped in love and it sends a strength that makes it possible to deal and live with the challenges you are facing. That is something you can’t underestimate.

When you face something that challenges everything you hold dear, you need every bit of inner strength you can muster. We have reserves built through years of learning and loving and being loved that need to be reenforced with the knowledge that you have others who will pick you up when you feel like falling down. It’s important.

You also build up these reserves by sending love and concern to others when you feel strong and they feel weak. They will return it to you when your positions are reversed. I don’t care if someone says they pray for me or have me in their thoughts or light candles or send a card. It all helps.

If you’re going to live a life of faith or strive to be a good person, you are going nowhere unless you learn to love others, even those who aren’t so obviously lovable. I think that’s what all the great religions, writers, thinkers, songwriters, poets and artists tell us.

Thanks for all the good vibes, prayers, thoughts and messages that have come our way through the years. I look forward to being able to send the love right back to you.

Tags prayer, Strength

Categories Family, Friends, Nature, Reflections

My Funny Valentine

February 14, 2015 //

I’d been married less than two months on the first Valentine’s Day of my marriage. We were in college, at Oklahoma State University, and I found the perfect Valentine in a shop by campus. The year was 1967 and here was a goofy dog made of then cool burlap in a stand-up card. Little did I know that the funny valentine would be with us all the way through our marriage.

Every year, for 31 years, I pulled the card out of hiding and set it on my husband’s dresser so he would see it first thing. He always gave me his big grin, our start to every Valentine’s Day.

No, that wasn’t all we did. There were flowers and candy and cards and dinners and jewelry and other traditional gifts through the years. I still have some of the valentines he gave me that I read once in a while. My husband was a romantic guy and liked to do it up right. He was 6’4″ of cuteness bringing in his surprise gifts which might range from grocery store roses to lovely jewelry, depending on our finances at the time. He wasn’t one of those guys who picks up something at the last minute and, even if he did, he would have thought about it all week.

But, I can pull out that first card and remember it all. It’s such a fun look at how we were, two kids starting out. It was so simple in the beginning when you loved each other and just knew with all your heart that it would all work out because of that. Sigh…

Today, we’re celebrating a day of love, no matter where you find it. It can be with pets, friends, family and special loved ones. Feel lucky that you have love of all kinds in your life. And treasure it!

Tags Oklahoma State University, romance, Valentine's Day

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

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