Today is my son’s birthday. Thirty-eight years ago today I was lucky enough to bring him into this world where he shone so brightly. As his mom, I’m trying not to get sad or do something worse and make him seem bigger than life or better than he was. I can hear him saying “Mom!” The truth is that he was a whole person who lived and loved his entire life and, like a true star, he left some of his shine on those who met, knew and loved him.

He was a cute little boy, a loving little boy, a funny little boy, a mess of a little boy.

Scan

Scan 14

photo

Scan 1

He was a sweet kid, a fun kid, a sometimes exasperating kid. He was a kid who embraced pop culture from the beginning, always on trend.

Scan

Scan 1

He was a teenager, a handsome teenager, a teenager who worked hard and played hard and studied when the mood struck him or a teacher inspired him.

CLAYTON 1993

Scan 45

photo

He was a college student who partied and danced and went to class and learned what he learned. He rallied for women’s rights, he formed an improv group, he graduated years after he should have, but he graduated.

Scan 5

006_6

Scan

He was a young man who became an uncle to his three sisters’ kids, loving them with all his heart.

Scan 13

He was a cancer survivor for 10 years. He rose to the disease, fighting it with everything he had. When he returned from radiation, I found him comforting other cancer victim online in chatrooms. He volunteered at the hospital, working with cancer patients when most would have rather have been away from that world.

Clayton's mask

He fell in love, deeply in love, and married in all his Scottish finery.

Scan 16

Scan 7

Clay___Whitney_s_Wedding_004

And he continued to have fun.

thatguy4gl

He was a brother

Scan

and a son

Scan

He became a father, a father who loved his little girl with all his heart.

61985_1427175723859_1366774592_31035158_2747238_n

He lived his life right up to the end, teaching us all how to fight through pain every day

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

He lived a life, a complete life, a circle of life. Today, his wife and daughter, his sisters and their families and I will celebrate that life with Clayton’s Pie Night, pizza (which he delivered in college) and pie (which he loved to bake). His life touched his family, his friends, strangers who met him.

I sang the song to him as a child, as I did to his sisters and to my grandchildren.
You are my sunshine.
May we always bask in the light that he brought to our lives.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA