Today is my son’s birthday. Thirty-eight years ago today I was lucky enough to bring him into this world where he shone so brightly. As his mom, I’m trying not to get sad or do something worse and make him seem bigger than life or better than he was. I can hear him saying “Mom!” The truth is that he was a whole person who lived and loved his entire life and, like a true star, he left some of his shine on those who met, knew and loved him.
He was a cute little boy, a loving little boy, a funny little boy, a mess of a little boy.
He was a sweet kid, a fun kid, a sometimes exasperating kid. He was a kid who embraced pop culture from the beginning, always on trend.
He was a teenager, a handsome teenager, a teenager who worked hard and played hard and studied when the mood struck him or a teacher inspired him.
He was a college student who partied and danced and went to class and learned what he learned. He rallied for women’s rights, he formed an improv group, he graduated years after he should have, but he graduated.
He was a young man who became an uncle to his three sisters’ kids, loving them with all his heart.
He was a cancer survivor for 10 years. He rose to the disease, fighting it with everything he had. When he returned from radiation, I found him comforting other cancer victim online in chatrooms. He volunteered at the hospital, working with cancer patients when most would have rather have been away from that world.
He fell in love, deeply in love, and married in all his Scottish finery.
And he continued to have fun.
He was a brother
and a son
He became a father, a father who loved his little girl with all his heart.
He lived his life right up to the end, teaching us all how to fight through pain every day
He lived a life, a complete life, a circle of life. Today, his wife and daughter, his sisters and their families and I will celebrate that life with Clayton’s Pie Night, pizza (which he delivered in college) and pie (which he loved to bake). His life touched his family, his friends, strangers who met him.
I sang the song to him as a child, as I did to his sisters and to my grandchildren.
You are my sunshine.
May we always bask in the light that he brought to our lives.
Confetti Thoughts 
Karen
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I will share it with Zac today.
Thinking of you. Xo Valerie
Sent from my iPad
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Thanks, Valerie! I miss him every day but try to focus on the life he had. He really is with us all the time!
Karen
Karen,
You will not likely remember me, nor should you really. Clayton and I went to high school together. In fact, we “dated” for awhile (if you can call it that at that age, I mean we couldn’t even drive) – in about the 9th grade when we both served on Student Council together (Clayton was president, of course). Not to over-share, but he was actually my first kiss (I remember his braces. ha). He had one of the funniest, most sarcastic, driest senses of humor I had ever encountered. He had a knack for calling people out in the most clever of ways – and creating laughter around their idiosyncrasies. Clay was hilarious, and he kept us all constantly laughing. To this day, he is one of the funniest most clever people I can remember. And of course, so super sweet to every single person – especially those who needed it most. He was a joy to be around and a noble human being.
We did not stay tight over the years, but that class was small enough that we all kind of grew up together at some point or another. I think of him often and run into Whitney every so often. We still have many mutual friends. I will try to be at the next Clayton Fest. In fact, I would love to go.
I cannot imagine what this has been like for you – losing your boy. But you are all so blessed to have each other – a tight family who holds each other up.
This was a beautiful piece – and the pictures are amazing. I hope it brought you more comfort than pain to write it. And I hope you keep blogging.
Warmest regards,
Heather Rahhal Palacios
Hi Heather,
I DO remember you! Thank you so much for sharing – notes like this mean so much to all of us and I print them off for his daughter to read later so she’ll know her father.
I actually love telling his story. All the stories & pictures are so important, the ways we keep alive. At random times I get stories or pictures from his friends and it is fun to open up another memory and see him yet another setting.
I hope we’ll do another Fraser Fest soon. We meant to do it around his birthday, but obviously need to dig in & just do it. It was fun and we raised a lot of money for some people who needed our help. We will certainly let everyone know!
Thanks again for your note. I’ll share it with his sisters & Whitney tonight at dinner. They’ll love it!
Love to you.
Karen
Thanks Karen for sharing. You have a gift for putting your thoughts into words that others can understand. Big Hug…. all the way from Oregon.
Hugs right back at you, Mary! We just never quit missing our sons, do we? Thank God for our daughters to keep us moving on.
I was lucky to get to know Clayton for a short time, and to know him even better in the week after he left this life through you, his family. We’ll make sure our new little Clayton knows all about his namesake. Love and hugs to you all.
Thanks, Lynn! We’re all very proud of your little Clayton! I know he’s bringing you as much joy as our Clay brought us. Love & hugs to your family!