Archives for category: Friends

Living with Tornadoes

May 21, 2013 //

As a life-long Oklahoman, I know about tornadoes. Not that I’ve ever seen one, but I know a lot about them. Our weather forecasts are intense during the season with everyone looking for the red on the radar maps, recognizing the appearance of a hook showing circulation, just like we’re experts.

I was trying to remember tornadoes as a child in the 50s & 60s in Tulsa. We hadn’t seen The Wizard of Oz until it became an annual event on television. There were no videos or DVDs to play. The weathercasts on television were relatively new and showed maps with vague forecasts. In grade school, I don’t remember doing tornado drills, but I remember bomb drills. I think we got under our desks, a big deal in the 50s. We also did fire drills. Tornado drills? Not that I remember. There was a time we began to go to the hallways…when was that? I’m sure that was a tornado drill.

In 8th grade, we had a unit on weather and learned to identify all the clouds. Part of the assignment was watching the weather on television and learning to follow what they were talking about. Still not a lot on tornadoes. Isn’t that strange? I know we must have had them. My parents never talked about them or acted scared, but we also didn’t have 24/7 weather and news.

In college, I was in Stillwater at Oklahoma State University, where the wind whips across the plains and the campus. I remember tornadoes then for sure. We knew to go to the basement. During my first year of marriage, we had to evacuate to a local funeral home, crammed in with other people in a building built of solid walls. After we moved back to Tulsa, there was a time when my husband, children, the dog and I huddled under a mattress in our hallway while a tornado roared overhead close to us. Then we lived in a house with a basement and took refuge there on occasion. The day of my middle daughter’s wedding, we were sitting on the basement stairs, away from the basement windows, waiting out a storm.

Tulsa hasn’t had as many tornadoes as other parts of the state for whatever reason you want to hang on it. The older parts of town are supposedly protected by the river and by the advice of the Indians to build the city there where it wouldn’t be hit. That doesn’t help the people who live in the expanded city limits away from that legendary protection, of course. At one time, I volunteered for and then worked for the American Red Cross, teaching disaster preparedness, trained in disaster response. Shoes, flashlights, blankets, radios, a communications plan, and all the things you should know for any type of disaster. I bombarded my grown children with information to keep their families safe. It’s still my number one place to send funds in a disaster because I know they will get the money to the victims and back into the communities.

For people who don’t live in tornado-prone areas, let me tell you that we do take them seriously. Our weather experts are the best and we listen and watch intently. It’s a great way to learn your state’s geography as you watch a storm move through tiny towns you’ve never heard of. But, there are all kinds of disasters in life and each is as tragic or life-changing as the others to the people who are in it. Floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, fires, ice storms…I’ve been through all of those and they are pretty horrific. Man-made disasters are even more frightening in these days of terrorists and shooters and bombs.

In Oklahoma, we’ve had our share of tough times. Try the Dust Bowl for starters…there’s a disaster that went on for a decade! We are a stoic people, people of the land that is grand! We stand up to all the troubles that are blown our way with a sense of responsibility to each other, to help each other get back up. We’re awfully good at hugs. We care about each other. Today, I was driving home from a quick vacation in the south eastern part of the state. The trip was cut a few hours short in order to get home the safest way possible with the storms. When I saw clouds like these…

…I knew that a tornado could drop out at any time, whirling right at me. I wasn’t particularly worried, although I did look for a bar ditch to lay flat in for a worst case solution. There was something majestic about the storm clouds…you have to respect them. And be so very thankful that you and your family are safe for another day.

Tears and prayers and hugs for the victims of our latest storms…in Shawnee and Moore this week. Stay safe Oklahoma!

Tags American Red Cross, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State University, tornado

Categories Family, Friends, Memories, Places, Reflections, Seasons

Hallmark Holidays

May 15, 2013 //

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Mother’s Day is over and it reminded me of the days when I owned a gift shop. Mother’s Day weekend was always a more than usual number of men, usually late in the day on Saturday, rushing in to get a card for their mother or wife. It was the same on Valentine’s Day. They grabbed a card and were out of there, not taking a lot of time other than to make sure it said something. At least they were making an effort to do something on a holiday that was obviously forced on them by the gift industry, the flower industry, society.

Some people are just better at acknowledging how they feel than others. Some don’t like being told to do something just because it’s a declared holiday. Some don’t like to be told to do anything. Some just don’t know how to do it. It’s nice to have specified days to remember our mothers, fathers, veterans, whoever. It seems like it got out of hand when we started having days for secretaries, grandparents, teachers, bosses, and anybody else the card companies could think to honor.

Starting when I was a little girl, I always – well, always may be a bit strong – but almost always as I remember, gave or sent my grandparents and parents cards and presents on the holidays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, their birthdays, Christmas. It made me feel good to do it, to let them know I loved them.

Today, there are even more, even more convenient, ways to keep in touch…text, Facebook, Twitter, old-fashioned email, and there are still phones. In fact, now we have phones with us all the time, some with FaceTime. And there’s Skype. It would be nice to think that people were using them to communicate more often, with more love, from the heart. That’s what the ads show, after all. And there are always handmade cards and gifts that fill the bill. Here’s one my son made for me…I wish I’d dated it, but it looks like he was about 10 or so.

Anyway, my point is that people need to tell the people they love how they feel while they can. If it takes a manufactured day to remind them, then that’s ok. If they could do it all the time, it’s even better. Don’t assume that your actions, although also important, speak louder than words. Everybody needs the words. Everybody. Nobody likes to feel taken for granted. Those manufactured holidays are a double-edged sword. They are a good reminder to acknowledge how you feel. For those who don’t receive anything on those days, it’s another kind of reminder and a different kind of loneliness and isolation. Some people are surrounded by loved ones who take it lightly. Some have nobody to remember them. It can be the happiest of days or the saddest or somewhere in-between (I know they love me, but it hurts that they forgot this day, even though I know it’s just a Hallmark Holiday). You know what I mean.

I’ve been lucky all my life. I have people who remember me on the days they are assigned to do so and I have people who tell me all the time. My husband and son were the best at bringing me surprises for no particular reason on top of the other holidays. They both started as little boys, doing sweet things for their mothers. Girls seem to be a little better at it…maybe it’s that shopping thing or that showing your emotions thing. Are the exceptions to those gender expectations born or taught by their parents? Hmmmm…

In the best of worlds, we tell each other how we feel in so many ways. We tell them out loud, we whisper it to them, we tell them with printed words, we acknowledge them to others. However you do it, just don’t forget how important it is to everyone…everyone. Thank them, tell them you love them, hug them. While you still have the time. Because none of us ever knows how much time we have.

Tags cards, family, holidays, love, Mother's Day, words

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Reflections

Mommy Me

May 11, 2013 //

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The only things that prepared me for being a Mommy were my own terrific mother and grandmothers and my ability to read anything I could on the subject. And my friends as we shared parenthood and its adventures together. I was one of the first of my friends to have a baby and I was still in college, graduate school, so I hadn’t been around any babies. I was the oldest child in my family, but we were close enough together that I didn’t remember anything about taking care of them.

I was a novice with a Better Homes & Gardens Baby Book propped open on the changing table to show me what to do. I was a good student, so I guess I approached it that same way. It was funny at the time and funnier now that I’ve had four children and eight grandchildren. That’s the first thing you’d better learn – to laugh at yourself. My husband and I often would look at each other and burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

A fantasy book I wanted to write while in the thick of motherhood was going to start “I had no idea how much shit I was going to handle in my lifetime…” I meant that literally and figuratively. To be more polite, let’s change that to messes of one sort or another. There’s the messy bottoms, faces, and vomit at the bottom of that mess pile. We can throw in the pet messes along with that – dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits, chameleons. What else did we have? Then there are just messes that kids make. How many Legos have I picked up in my lifetime? Star Wars characters with their itsy bitsy guns? Blocks, books, balls of all kinds, shoes, socks…it goes on and on. Some of my kids were neat and some were messy. A couple lived their teen years in rooms so bad that we just closed the door – I’d learned not to pick up for them by then. There were cooking messes…

and dirt and mud, especially when I had a soccer goalie daughter who didn’t mind wallowing in the muddy goal. I never seemed to have towels in the car to get her home.

And then there were life messes to clean up. Hurt feelings, anger, bad tempers, broken hearts, disappointments. You grit your teeth and pick up the physical messes. You gird your heart to take care of life’s breaks and falls.

Being a Mommy was the best thing that ever happened to me…still. I’ve been through the worst of it and the best of it and would do it all again. That would be in another lifetime…I’ve earned my stripes in this one. My son called me Mom and my girls call me Mommy. My daughter-in-law calls me Karen. They’ve grown up to be wonderful adults and parents and I’m so proud of them and for them.

Being a Mommy is a great class that never stops teaching you about yourself. You learn how far you can be pushed before you break into anger, laughter, or tears. You laugh a lot at the adorable things your children and grandchildren do and say and at yourself along the way. You are angry at yourself, at them, at others when they do the wrong thing or someone wrongs them. You learn that life isn’t fair, your children aren’t perfect, you can take on way more than you think. You learn that you cry for them, with them, and when they accomplish something big or small. I’ve cried through some pretty silly school programs. It could be that the most uncontrollable tears of all are the ones of pride.

Most of all you learn that your heart is way bigger than before they came into it. You learn that it swells with pride and a love you never understood before. You learn that it can be broken and that they help it heal.

This Mother’s Day weekend, I rejoice in the lessons this Mommy has learned. I remember with gratitude the love that I was surrounded with from my own Mommy and grandmothers and aunts. I send much love to the precious Mommies in my family who make me so proud of them and their children.

And love to all Mommies out there. Have fun, be proud of what you do and laugh at yourself with joy! Happy Mother’s Day!

Tags children, love, messes, Mommy, mother, Mother's Day, parent

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

Shine

March 25, 2013 //

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Shine is a term I learned in Hollywood last year, probably from one of the ever present celebrity news shows in L.A. It basically means what people get when they rub up against the stars. Writing about it is a little strange because I sound like I’m dropping names myself, which is not my intention. I was reminded of the meaning of Shine today when an actor friend was telling another friend about his first trip to an autograph show. People lined up for two hours to get his autograph, a new thing for someone who has been a serious actor for almost 50 years and suddenly finds himself in the middle of a popular show. He’s old enough to get a kick out of it, even though he is amazed by it.

I’ve met many famous people through the years, famous for everything from sports to acting to art, cooking, politics, music, whatever. It’s fun to see them in person, and, yes, some of them are larger than life, but I’m always amazed at the reaction of everyone around them, including myself sometimes. I’m not a big autograph person, although I do have some autographed books. I usually have authors sign their name rather than signing it to me, which seems so awkward since I don’t really know them. There were a couple of exceptions with chefs I worked with for several months. I’m also not one for jumping into pictures with the stars, even though I love pictures. I do have a picture of me with Dorothy Hamill, taken years ago. She was sitting on my desk at work, waiting to perform, and I got a picture mainly because I had worn her hair style for years. I don’t remember any other photos of me with anyone. I think I had an autographed picture of Hopalong Cassidy when I was a little girl and met him at a horse show. It also comes from not wanting to bother them while they are trying to be normal people, which is where I usually meet people of fame.

This isn’t to say I don’t understand all of this. I have tons of pictures of people and it’s fun to see fans line up for someone. I love that the “stars” get to meet their fans and feel appreciated, which probably makes the star shine even more. I’m reading yet another book about Joan of Arc, who was a superstar in her time. Even her opponents described the glow that came from within her. If all is true, her shine came from her sacred mission and her purity, although she was as human as the rest of us with her bad temper and stubborn ways.

The “stars” we think of are normal people doing their job, some enormously talented in their field, and a few who are just good people. I’m not going to become a star by meeting famous people or hanging around with them. The reason I’m writing about Shine is to remind myself that I should be getting my Shine from rubbing up against people who are caring and loving and making a difference in the world. These people are all around us. We don’t ask them for autographs or have our picture made with them. They don’t get a concrete star in Hollywood or their name in lights or get mentioned on television every day. I want to shine because I’ve surrounded myself with family and friends who make me better for knowing them.

I do love the term Shine though. It’ll be around as long as there are stars in the sky!

Tags celebrities, Entertainment, Hollywood

Categories Entertainment, Friends, Reflections

High School Revisit

February 14, 2013 //

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Yesterday was an interesting juxtaposition of years of my life. I was working on my 50th high school reunion in the morning and received emails out of the blue from the guy who was our senior class president and another who was Mr. Edison that year. It’s Edison Week, the week Thomas A. Edison High School in Tulsa, Oklahoma celebrates the namesake’s birthday with a week of celebrations, culminating today in the awarding of the next Mr. and Miss Edison, along with class superlatives.

Yesterday afternoon, I was at Edison for several hours to watch one of my grandsons in guy cheerleading, a fun tradition of Edison Week. I hadn’t thought about any of this until last night while I was watching videos of the day with him. When I go in the doors of Edison, I immediately feel at home. The halls look smaller, but I can go back and picture the kids, in their various cliques, grouped around the front hall, waiting for the bell to ring, as they were back in my day. The outside has some changes structurally and there aren’t motorcycles out front as much as cars, which is a change. We didn’t have too many kids with cars back in my day. The girls aren’t wearing hoop skirts either!

We didn’t have drugs, but we had the smoke hole. We had more dances and they may have been more fun since kids don’t really date or dance the way we did. There were downsides to that, too, for those who didn’t have dates. Today’s kids are more group oriented when they go out, but that can be a good thing. How can they possibly afford to take someone to a movie or out to dinner? Nobody goes on Coke dates anymore. There are dance classes, but few take them. They can learn the latest from YouTube.

But, when I started really looking back, there are so many things that are basically the same. We decorated the halls of the school…

…just as they do today. This picture is a great illustration of the teenage boy’s brain as he improvises a way to hang a banner by balancing on a 2 inch brick when standing on a chair on a table didn’t work. There were ladders close by, by the way.

The school has fewer students today, but they have more cheerleaders. Here are the cheerleaders in 1963…

Today, they do intricate routines, way beyond 2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate. The gymnastics are incredible.

Face it. The kids are much more fit than we were, especially the girls. It’s a different kind of training, different kind of body toning than we knew. Even our biggest, strongest athletes couldn’t match the bodies I saw yesterday. Or the jumps, leaps and throws. I’m not sure that girls today could even relate to the quaint, which is a kind word for those hideous outfits we purchased at Sears and had our names monogrammed on, gym suits we wore. Jumping jacks and sit ups were pretty much our exercises, although we did get to do some modern dancing, play a few basketball and softball games, and swim. Swimming was awful because we didn’t have blow dryers and you had to walk around all day with your hair in a scarf. I guess you could wear rollers to class – ha!

Edison Week really hasn’t changed much. We had a gridiron show and I found pictures of our version of guy cheerleaders, 50 years ago. These were the football players and the other jocks. The guys have gotten more creative through the years with intricate routines that are SO teen age boy in their enthusiasm and silliness. I have film of my son’s guy cheerleading group.

Here is my grandson’s sophomore class guy cheerleading group…

One of my sons-in-law was Mr. Edison, way back in 1990. It’s a shock to my kids that Nostalgia Day this year was a look back at the 90s, with the kids wearing the styles of that era. My kids are cringing and I’m smiling and trying to remember what they wore. What the heck did I wear way back then, by the way? It’s so far back… Yesterday was Luau Day with all the school dressed for the islands. We had some Hawaiian skits and my kids had luaus, too. It’s always a good party theme.

One of the nice things about living where you grew up is seeing the continuity of life and viewing the changes through different generations. My parents were from other places, so I felt no connection with where they went to school. My kids and grandkids are walking the same halls in high school that their father (for part of junior high) and I did. Yesterday, I got to share in their youth and it was refreshing to be surrounded by all that energy and excitement. I loved the cheers and screams and laughter…mostly, I loved that I got to breathe in some of that rarified air that goes with all that can be good with teenagers.

I watched with pride as the kids said the Pledge of Allegiance and sang the National Anthem. That hasn’t changed.

Mostly, I guess that what I wish for the next generation is that they continue the traditions, making them their own. I do wish they had sung “Hail, Hail to Edison” for me. Just for old times sake…but, yesterday wasn’t about me…it was about them. My past and our future!

Tags high school, memories

Categories Family, Friends, Memories, Places, Reflections

New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2012 //

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New Year’s Eve is kind of a funny holiday for me. I can remember celebrating it in a bunch of different ways, from 7 parties one year…and it was icy & snowy out, for gosh sakes…to staying home with the kids, banging pans on the front porch. It’s such an interesting ritual, watching the calendar change and hoping for a better year coming in. Even when the last year was a good one, we always hope for a better one. When it was a bad year, we hold our breath. It can’t get any worse, can it?

We’re somewhat obligated to do something. We’re either part of the festivity or we watch it on TV. We can celebrate all around the world as the new year comes round to us. We can get up and cook black-eyed peas (yuk) and watch football, even though the bowls aren’t what they used to be, and then it’s back to what we were doing the next day. We wake up on January 2 with resolutions to lose weight, exercise, get organized, be a better person, and anything else that comes to mind.

And, I like that we do this…take stock of ourselves and our lives and the world…see how to make us or it better. What a positive way to start a fresh new year.

This year is a quiet one here. My three year old party animal has flaked out on celebrating, so we’ll do it tomorrow. What does she care?

Here’s my oldest grandson celebrating with me when he was almost two…he’s almost 16 now. One thing about it…the years keep coming, thank goodness!

Cheers to you from my family! May your new year be all that you want it to be with a few adventures thrown in for excitement!

Tags holidays, New Year's Eve

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

Facebook Holidays

December 26, 2012 //

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Celebrating the holidays on Facebook is a somewhat new tradition. I have friends who won’t go near it and even more friends of all ages (from ages 10 to 90s in my case) who embrace it. What I’ve found is that you have your community of friends at the moment you need them…or at least those who are online at the particular moment. It’s different from emails, where you don’t get the same immediate feeling, more engaging than texts, even with cute emoticons.

I’ve seen Facebook at its best and at its worst…depends on how the user knows how to handle it. Some things shouldn’t be public and not everyone understands where to draw the line. At its best, it’s brings people closer together and closes the distance gap. People reach out with questions, in desperation, in loss and to share happiness. They reach out to help other people, they reach out to support groups, they reach out to share a precious memory. And, in return, they get answers, they get comfort, they get shared laughs, and they get love. Sometimes, they find lost friends or family, sometimes they find people they would like to lose again. Sometimes, they hear from the least likely people to help them and it’s a nice thing.

It’s no wonder that there are billions of people on Facebook worldwide. It’s fun, it’s addictive, it’s high tech for even non-techys. For me, it’s been an open adventure. I’ve found people I’d lost over the years, gotten wonderful birthday wishes, shared grief and happiness in my family, and learned more about my friends than I ever could, even if I saw them every day.

Yesterday, Christmas, I loved seeing my friends instantly on their holiday! I loved seeing how their families are growing up. I noticed some who were missing and reached out to them. I shared my family. It wasn’t time consuming. I didn’t spend hours on the computer while my family was around. It was a glance here and there as I rested during the day or kicked back when everyone left. It was touching people I love for a few seconds and knowing that all was well with them.

I consider it a wonderful gift to be able to connect with so many people so easily and I’m grateful for it.

Hope your holidays are joyful!

Tags Facebook, holidays, photos

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Reflections

Friends by Election

December 20, 2012 //

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We have individual friends and we have groups of friends. Friends from childhood, from the neighborhood, from church, from work, from all over the place. Most of us are lucky enough to have several groups of friends and they may come and go through the years. I have one group that is somewhat unique in that we were elected to be together back in 1987. A Nominating Committee put us together to serve as officers of the Junior League of Tulsa. Of course, we knew each other in varying degrees because we’d served on boards and committees together if we didn’t already know each other. But, I don’t think any of us would have put us together as a group of friends. We were chosen for our leadership skills and the fact that we could probably work together to lead the membership to meet the goals of the organization. We were the seven officers.

Times were different when we started meeting. We were all basically stay-at-home moms, although a couple of us may have been working part time. We were all married with children and worked full time jobs as volunteers on top of all our home responsibilities. When I try to explain this to women today, they can’t quite take it in. We really did get up, get the kids to school, and then meet, often the entire time from 9:30-2:30, when it was time to pick up the kids, get dinners, get them all to lessons, etc. Sometimes, after dinner, we were back at meetings. These weren’t trivial meetings…we accomplished things. On top of these meetings, we were volunteers at our schools and churches and for other organizations. We were smart women who liked making our world a better place for our families and our communities. We used to laugh and say that we weren’t trained for anything less than heading corporations with all the leadership skills we’d acquired.

The year we were officers, we started meeting in January to establish what we wanted to accomplish. We met every Monday, 9:30-2:30, to discuss who we wanted to put in charge of key projects, what our board was going to look like. We did this all the way through until we were officially in office the end of May. From May of that year until May of the following year, we met every Monday to see how the various committees were doing and to report to each other. We took turns feeding each other and we learned about each other’s families. In between, we met with the committees we liaisoned and the board, advisory board, and other groups from the community. All this without computers, cell phones, and answering machines. To say we were bonded by the end of the year was an understatement. It was an amazing experience, one that we can look back on with extreme pride. In all the years since, I’ve never had the job satisfaction or the sense of accomplishment I had during those years I spent in Junior League. We developed projects, raised money, brought community leaders together and manned the projects…making a difference.

Our lives began to change as soon as that year began. It was just that time in our lives, not particularly because of our volunteer work. There were marriages that crumbled and careers that opened up. After our terms, we began to meet every month for breakfast, just to keep up with each other. Within a few years, all of us had interesting careers, taking us in places we had never dreamed. Some were forced on us by marriages that left some alone to support and raise children, or marriages that needed more income to get the kids through college, and others were just opportunities that came along. We changed to dinners, but we kept meeting.

The short story of this is that we are still meeting…is it 26 years later? Every month for dinner, although we hope to all get retired and go back to lunches. Our children are grown, most of us are grandmothers, some are still single, some are remarried, I’m widowed. We’ve been through every kind of life drama…divorce, marriage, death, illness, and success after success… you can imagine. We have cried with each other through the worst and laughed a whole lot. We aren’t a group that is bound by our husbands or kids…we are bound by our respect for each other. We are always there when we need each other. We don’t call each other first thing…we have individual friends and family for that…but we know we will always be a huge part of the support system in each other’s lives.

I’m sure that the committee that selected us to be together didn’t know that this would be the outcome, and isn’t it a funny thing to be elected to be friends? But I wouldn’t trade these women in my life for anything.

Tags Friends, friendship, Junior League

Categories Friends, Reflections

Happiness

December 18, 2012 //

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This is the time of year when we are rushing around creating the perfect holiday for our family and friends and we are reminded to count our blessings. It’s a ritual while we worship and welcome the new year that we look over our life and reassess what we have and what is missing, what we want and what we need. It’s a beautiful time of year…sometimes.

We help others who are not so fortunate so that our hearts won’t break at the irony of all we have when they have so little. We look kindly towards those we may not notice the rest of the year. We vow to look at the world this way all the time. And, we do try.

This has not been the most holiday like time in our family. In the last week, I had surgery (nothing horrible), my daughter-in-law’s mother died and there were horrible stories of a mass school shooting in the middle of it all. But the strength of family, of people, prevails and we go on. I’m a little surprised when people comment on how much our family has had to endure through the years, specifically meaning the loss of my husband and son to cancer. Friends comment on our strength. I don’t think we are any different from other families as we all have things going on with our core that may not be as visible as our losses. The main thing is that we keep going…but don’t most people? It’s hard to stop life coming at you. We’ll have a wonderful Christmas together, laughing at memories of those who aren’t with us, and hugging each other as we make new ones. Each year has its own story that becomes part of our history.

What keeps me going is a knowledge, learned through loss, that we don’t know how much time we have on earth, so we need to use it to create new memories, happy ones, when we can. Those are our strength. When Alan died, a minister told me I was greedy. He said it in a kindly way, but I was a little taken aback. I’ve absorbed it and understand he was right. I have so much and want it to always be the same, but that’s just not the way life works. The gift that I treasure most now is happiness. I’ve learned that I have an abundance, an endless supply, in my life. I understand the value of this blessing as I look around the world and understand that some people never experience a single minute of happiness in their entire life. How can I not be grateful with all I have been given? I am blessed beyond belief.

We all move from day to day, not really knowing what each moment will bring. I hope that in these moments you receive happiness, true happiness, to add to your supply.

Tags happiness

Categories Family, Friends, Reflections

My Life with Santa

December 7, 2012 //

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I believe in Santa. This is evident as I unpack the 100s of Santas I have in my house today. As I look at each one, a memory snaps into my mind and I am taken back 10 years, 30 years, 50 or 60 years…

I only have one photo of me as a child with Santa. My brother and I are visiting him and it’s hard to say what I’m thinking. I was five years old. But, I do know that I was a little girl who believed all the fairy tales and Santa stories I read. My friend, Hal Balch, gave me a copy of The Night Before Christmas for my 6th birthday and I still have it. It was an oversized pop-up book and I saw it (in better condition than mine) on eBay for $350 one time. I read it to my four kids every year on Christmas Eve.

My birthday is in December and I got married on December 23, so December is a month for me to celebrate. I bought a funny little Santa on sale before I got married and put him on the top of our first Christmas tree, which was right around our first anniversary. I still put him on my Christmas tree. I don’t know why I put Santa rather than a star or an angel, but he seemed to fit up there with his funny little smile.

One year, as a young mother, I read a ladies magazine article on decorating for the holidays and it said to group your collections. I looked around and saw that I had accumulated a lot of Santas and so it began. I was a Santa collector. I know lots of Santa collectors and every one of us has a unique collection. Some like hand crafted Santas, some collect vintage Santas. I am beyond eclectic. I have Santas from everywhere and every price. Some of my favorites cost a couple of dollars, some are flea market finds, some were created by Santa artists.

The thing about having a lot of Santas, for better or worse, is that people start giving you Santas, especially when your birthday is in December. Some of my favorites are from dear friends and I remember those friendships every Christmas as I pass each funky little guy.

Santas were a fun thing to look for when I traveled. I have Santa matchbooks from a department store in Paris, and this crazy Santa in a car that I got for $5 on a street in Hong Kong. What a fun way to remember special trips.

I found the Santa on the left in a flea market in Vienna and the troll Santa is from Denmark. I have Lego Santas I got in Switzerland. I learned how universal my beloved guy is.

I have Santas from my childhood, with the earliest being the tall skinny one here behind the cow Santa we found in New Orleans.

When my mother died, I brought these funny little Santas home with me. I think she got the trees at Neiman Marcus and the Santas probably held candy at one time. All I know is that they remind me of Christmas at home.

There are Santas I made…these are needlepoint.

There are Santas with stories. One summer, times were rough as they sometimes are in families. My oldest daughter, my son and I were at the flea market, killing time on a Saturday morning. We spotted the big vintage lighted Santa face. I think it was $30 and we had $32. I asked them what they thought and they both said to get it. You know what? Everything got better after we got that Santa. He is a bright light to remind me that we can always get through life’s ups and downs with love and hope.

My kids gave me Santas through the years. I love this one that my son gave me for my birthday the year he was 13. I always picture him finding it in a craft booth. Sweet memory.

My husband gave me Santas. In 1997, our three daughters each had a son, making us grandparents. That year, Alan was battling cancer. He brought me a Waterford Santa for my birthday, a Santa with a little boy in his lap.

My Santas are grouped around the house, all over the house. There are bathing Santas in the bathroom, Santa bears, Santa rabbits, Santa’s workshops, Santa boxes, sleeping Santas, Santa bells…each with his own story.

If you have forgotten or never knew the magic of finding presents from Santa, you may not understand. Even when I knew better, even when I should have been too old to get that excited, I would lie in bed and listen for my parents’ steps as they put out the gifts. I would lie in bed and wait until all was silent again and sneak to the fireplace to see the Christmas lights and marvel at the gifts. It didn’t matter what they were – there was something magical about it. I would go back to bed, lying there basking in the wonder of it all, waiting until my brother and sister got up and we would all go in together.

You can understand when I say I never did have the “Santa discussion” with my kids. What difference would that have made? Santa was always going to come to our house. I may have told them it was up to them whether they wanted to believe or not. One of my favorite memories was the year my son got a special bike – he may have been 10 or 11. The kids woke us, way too early, and we all came downstairs together. I remember him saying, in the most excited voice, “Did you see what I got? Look at this?” I was struck with the magic that he was thinking his father and I were as surprised as he was that the bike was there, I just smiled at him.

It was a shock when I found myself alone on Christmas mornings, but it’s ok and the way the world is supposed to be. We still have Grand Santa at my house with stockings for everyone. We’re up to 16 stockings now for my children, their spouses and the grandkids.

When I was in my 20s, I volunteered with a group called Junior Philharmonic and our fundraiser was Santa House. I worked at it for several years and often dressed as an elf, where I discovered the magic of children who really believed I was an elf! There’s nothing like looking into the eyes of an innocent two or three year old who thinks you work for the man himself.

Years later, I went to work for Philbrook Museum of Art as the Fundraising Events Manager and part of my job was to make sure Santa was at the annual Festival of Trees. I thought I’d come full circle – back to Santa. I can truly say that I am a close associate of Santa. I retired, but it was fun to see my three year old granddaughter trying to take in the fact that Santa was hugging her Mimi. We’re old friends, I told her.

So, I sit amongst my collection and drink in the special vibes that the Santas (and other holiday characters and my nativity sets) bring to my holidays. I remember childhood, friendships, trips and experiences from every decade of my life. When it’s time to pack them away, I’m always ready because I’ve got to go on to the new year and live it before I bring them out again.

The stories of my Santas are the story of my life. They represent friendships, groups I’ve worked with, jobs I’ve had, and my family. When the Santas are packed away, there are other things with other memories that I keep around me. It’s the clutter of my life that I wade through, knowing that I am lucky to have so much to cherish.

May you celebrate your life this season surrounded by all you love.

Tags Christmas, collection, holiday, Santa Claus

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories

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