Archives for category: Holidays

The Fireworks of Summer

July 4, 2013 //

There’s a plate that hangs in my kitchen that I have there for the sentiment…

I DO love the fireworks of summer. They bring back summers past when I watched fireworks displays with my family growing up, shooting off sparklers and bottle rockets, back when we shot off lots of dangerous, exploding things, watching big displays from blankets in the dark.

When I lift my face to the sky to wait for each burst of color and light, I go back to the days of my own young family, watching them with their own sparklers, running and playing as they waited for dark and the sounds of the fireworks in the night.

Our driveway was stained with the marks of snakes and exploding toys and sparklers laid down to burn out. There was such a thrill in watching each piece being lit, anticipating what burst or fizzle it would bring.

It’s all magic. I love the sounds of patriotic music playing at the ballpark as they launch their display. I love the family activities leading up to the fireworks show, all the noise of excited children. I love watching family and friends, dressed in red, white and blue, gather on their blankets or chairs to wait together, all the craziness of anticipation quieting down for the first big boom. I remember the days when I leaned against my husband to watch the sky or cuddled a child and smiled at the wonder in his or her face, lighted by the bursts before us, the lights sparkling in bright eyes. I love the parents carrying sleepy children to cars and home to cozy beds at the end of the evening.

The fireworks of summer burn memories into our hearts that are brought forward with each spark the next year.

Be safe and enjoy your own fireworks of summer!

Tags 4th of July, children, displays, fireworks, memories, sparklers

Categories Events, Family, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

Speaking as a Daddy’s Girl…

June 16, 2013 //

It’s stupid to make generalizations about Daddys or Mommys because there are so many kinds. Since it’s Father’s Day, I’m thinking of the fathers I’ve known and lost…grandfather, father, father-in-law, husband, son…and celebrating the sons-in-law I have as fathers to my grandchildren. The best I can do is talk about the things that I’ve loved the most about all of these important guys in my life.

I’ve seen them cry. Maybe not my grandfather, but all the rest of them have at least had a tear in their eye from laughter, pride, love, grief more than once. Real men DO cry for the right reasons.

They’re responsible. They do their very best to take care of their family financially. They teach their children right from wrong. They have great work ethics. They take the time to share themselves with the next generation.

They pitch in when needed. They help around the house, help with the kids, help with dinner. My own father may have been the worst…he didn’t know we had a hammer, but he did mow the lawn. He only cooked outside. But he was there, trying. My husband, son, and sons-in-law are all over helping everyone. They diapered, fed, cooked, helped anyone in the family move anything.

They love their wives. Maybe the most important thing because it teaches their children so much.

They have great senses of humor. Maybe the second most important thing, really. They all had more than a sense of humor…they were genuinely funny. And silly. My father used to sit at the table and start stories like “when I discovered America…” I know he did it just to see us roll our eyes. But it made us laugh too. He was an elegant man, but he could be silly. My husband was just funny, silly, goofy. And we could always laugh together. Sometimes we were having an argument and then we’d look at each other, realize the absurdity of it all, and just burst out laughing. My husband and son used to sit with each other making up puns from the time my son was very small. We laugh a lot in our family. I think my daughters must have known they’d never be happy without that quality.

They play. There’s a lot of the little boy in them that comes out to join their kids.

They’re not perfect. Thank goodness. I’ve known people who had to be right, had to meet expectations of perfection, and it was tough. I could go through flaws, but they are part of what makes them each unique. They’re perfect enough…

Thanks to all my guys, those gone and those still here. I can’t love any of you enough.

Tags Father's Day, fathers, grandfather, son, sons-in-law

Categories Family, Holidays, Memories, Reflections, Uncategorized

Hallmark Holidays

May 15, 2013 //

Mother’s Day is over and it reminded me of the days when I owned a gift shop. Mother’s Day weekend was always a more than usual number of men, usually late in the day on Saturday, rushing in to get a card for their mother or wife. It was the same on Valentine’s Day. They grabbed a card and were out of there, not taking a lot of time other than to make sure it said something. At least they were making an effort to do something on a holiday that was obviously forced on them by the gift industry, the flower industry, society.

Some people are just better at acknowledging how they feel than others. Some don’t like being told to do something just because it’s a declared holiday. Some don’t like to be told to do anything. Some just don’t know how to do it. It’s nice to have specified days to remember our mothers, fathers, veterans, whoever. It seems like it got out of hand when we started having days for secretaries, grandparents, teachers, bosses, and anybody else the card companies could think to honor.

Starting when I was a little girl, I always – well, always may be a bit strong – but almost always as I remember, gave or sent my grandparents and parents cards and presents on the holidays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, their birthdays, Christmas. It made me feel good to do it, to let them know I loved them.

Today, there are even more, even more convenient, ways to keep in touch…text, Facebook, Twitter, old-fashioned email, and there are still phones. In fact, now we have phones with us all the time, some with FaceTime. And there’s Skype. It would be nice to think that people were using them to communicate more often, with more love, from the heart. That’s what the ads show, after all. And there are always handmade cards and gifts that fill the bill. Here’s one my son made for me…I wish I’d dated it, but it looks like he was about 10 or so.

Anyway, my point is that people need to tell the people they love how they feel while they can. If it takes a manufactured day to remind them, then that’s ok. If they could do it all the time, it’s even better. Don’t assume that your actions, although also important, speak louder than words. Everybody needs the words. Everybody. Nobody likes to feel taken for granted. Those manufactured holidays are a double-edged sword. They are a good reminder to acknowledge how you feel. For those who don’t receive anything on those days, it’s another kind of reminder and a different kind of loneliness and isolation. Some people are surrounded by loved ones who take it lightly. Some have nobody to remember them. It can be the happiest of days or the saddest or somewhere in-between (I know they love me, but it hurts that they forgot this day, even though I know it’s just a Hallmark Holiday). You know what I mean.

I’ve been lucky all my life. I have people who remember me on the days they are assigned to do so and I have people who tell me all the time. My husband and son were the best at bringing me surprises for no particular reason on top of the other holidays. They both started as little boys, doing sweet things for their mothers. Girls seem to be a little better at it…maybe it’s that shopping thing or that showing your emotions thing. Are the exceptions to those gender expectations born or taught by their parents? Hmmmm…

In the best of worlds, we tell each other how we feel in so many ways. We tell them out loud, we whisper it to them, we tell them with printed words, we acknowledge them to others. However you do it, just don’t forget how important it is to everyone…everyone. Thank them, tell them you love them, hug them. While you still have the time. Because none of us ever knows how much time we have.

Tags cards, family, holidays, love, Mother's Day, words

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Reflections

Mommy Me

May 11, 2013 //

The only things that prepared me for being a Mommy were my own terrific mother and grandmothers and my ability to read anything I could on the subject. And my friends as we shared parenthood and its adventures together. I was one of the first of my friends to have a baby and I was still in college, graduate school, so I hadn’t been around any babies. I was the oldest child in my family, but we were close enough together that I didn’t remember anything about taking care of them.

I was a novice with a Better Homes & Gardens Baby Book propped open on the changing table to show me what to do. I was a good student, so I guess I approached it that same way. It was funny at the time and funnier now that I’ve had four children and eight grandchildren. That’s the first thing you’d better learn – to laugh at yourself. My husband and I often would look at each other and burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

A fantasy book I wanted to write while in the thick of motherhood was going to start “I had no idea how much shit I was going to handle in my lifetime…” I meant that literally and figuratively. To be more polite, let’s change that to messes of one sort or another. There’s the messy bottoms, faces, and vomit at the bottom of that mess pile. We can throw in the pet messes along with that – dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits, chameleons. What else did we have? Then there are just messes that kids make. How many Legos have I picked up in my lifetime? Star Wars characters with their itsy bitsy guns? Blocks, books, balls of all kinds, shoes, socks…it goes on and on. Some of my kids were neat and some were messy. A couple lived their teen years in rooms so bad that we just closed the door – I’d learned not to pick up for them by then. There were cooking messes…

and dirt and mud, especially when I had a soccer goalie daughter who didn’t mind wallowing in the muddy goal. I never seemed to have towels in the car to get her home.

And then there were life messes to clean up. Hurt feelings, anger, bad tempers, broken hearts, disappointments. You grit your teeth and pick up the physical messes. You gird your heart to take care of life’s breaks and falls.

Being a Mommy was the best thing that ever happened to me…still. I’ve been through the worst of it and the best of it and would do it all again. That would be in another lifetime…I’ve earned my stripes in this one. My son called me Mom and my girls call me Mommy. My daughter-in-law calls me Karen. They’ve grown up to be wonderful adults and parents and I’m so proud of them and for them.

Being a Mommy is a great class that never stops teaching you about yourself. You learn how far you can be pushed before you break into anger, laughter, or tears. You laugh a lot at the adorable things your children and grandchildren do and say and at yourself along the way. You are angry at yourself, at them, at others when they do the wrong thing or someone wrongs them. You learn that life isn’t fair, your children aren’t perfect, you can take on way more than you think. You learn that you cry for them, with them, and when they accomplish something big or small. I’ve cried through some pretty silly school programs. It could be that the most uncontrollable tears of all are the ones of pride.

Most of all you learn that your heart is way bigger than before they came into it. You learn that it swells with pride and a love you never understood before. You learn that it can be broken and that they help it heal.

This Mother’s Day weekend, I rejoice in the lessons this Mommy has learned. I remember with gratitude the love that I was surrounded with from my own Mommy and grandmothers and aunts. I send much love to the precious Mommies in my family who make me so proud of them and their children.

And love to all Mommies out there. Have fun, be proud of what you do and laugh at yourself with joy! Happy Mother’s Day!

Tags children, love, messes, Mommy, mother, Mother's Day, parent

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2012 //

New Year’s Eve is kind of a funny holiday for me. I can remember celebrating it in a bunch of different ways, from 7 parties one year…and it was icy & snowy out, for gosh sakes…to staying home with the kids, banging pans on the front porch. It’s such an interesting ritual, watching the calendar change and hoping for a better year coming in. Even when the last year was a good one, we always hope for a better one. When it was a bad year, we hold our breath. It can’t get any worse, can it?

We’re somewhat obligated to do something. We’re either part of the festivity or we watch it on TV. We can celebrate all around the world as the new year comes round to us. We can get up and cook black-eyed peas (yuk) and watch football, even though the bowls aren’t what they used to be, and then it’s back to what we were doing the next day. We wake up on January 2 with resolutions to lose weight, exercise, get organized, be a better person, and anything else that comes to mind.

And, I like that we do this…take stock of ourselves and our lives and the world…see how to make us or it better. What a positive way to start a fresh new year.

This year is a quiet one here. My three year old party animal has flaked out on celebrating, so we’ll do it tomorrow. What does she care?

Here’s my oldest grandson celebrating with me when he was almost two…he’s almost 16 now. One thing about it…the years keep coming, thank goodness!

Cheers to you from my family! May your new year be all that you want it to be with a few adventures thrown in for excitement!

Tags holidays, New Year's Eve

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, Reflections

Facebook Holidays

December 26, 2012 //

Celebrating the holidays on Facebook is a somewhat new tradition. I have friends who won’t go near it and even more friends of all ages (from ages 10 to 90s in my case) who embrace it. What I’ve found is that you have your community of friends at the moment you need them…or at least those who are online at the particular moment. It’s different from emails, where you don’t get the same immediate feeling, more engaging than texts, even with cute emoticons.

I’ve seen Facebook at its best and at its worst…depends on how the user knows how to handle it. Some things shouldn’t be public and not everyone understands where to draw the line. At its best, it’s brings people closer together and closes the distance gap. People reach out with questions, in desperation, in loss and to share happiness. They reach out to help other people, they reach out to support groups, they reach out to share a precious memory. And, in return, they get answers, they get comfort, they get shared laughs, and they get love. Sometimes, they find lost friends or family, sometimes they find people they would like to lose again. Sometimes, they hear from the least likely people to help them and it’s a nice thing.

It’s no wonder that there are billions of people on Facebook worldwide. It’s fun, it’s addictive, it’s high tech for even non-techys. For me, it’s been an open adventure. I’ve found people I’d lost over the years, gotten wonderful birthday wishes, shared grief and happiness in my family, and learned more about my friends than I ever could, even if I saw them every day.

Yesterday, Christmas, I loved seeing my friends instantly on their holiday! I loved seeing how their families are growing up. I noticed some who were missing and reached out to them. I shared my family. It wasn’t time consuming. I didn’t spend hours on the computer while my family was around. It was a glance here and there as I rested during the day or kicked back when everyone left. It was touching people I love for a few seconds and knowing that all was well with them.

I consider it a wonderful gift to be able to connect with so many people so easily and I’m grateful for it.

Hope your holidays are joyful!

Tags Facebook, holidays, photos

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Reflections

Jingle All the Way

December 8, 2012 //

No applause, please, but I did the Jingle Bell 5K Run/Walk today. It was my first run/walk…let’s just call it a walk. I hate to run and always have, but I love to walk. I had no problem walking 5K (3.1 miles) and really didn’t even feel it. I could have gone faster or further, but I chose to just walk a steady pace rather than setting a personal best. I was setting a personal best just by being there.

My 11 year old grandson, Marc, went with me. He’s a runner so I told him to go ahead, but he chose to walk with me. I was there for the experience and it was fun to have company.

First of all, I love the fact that people make these kind of events into an opportunity to dress up and be funny. The whole atmosphere was holiday festive with accessories ranging from hats (we wore Santa hats), to elaborate costumes worn by entire groups.

I was surprised by the number of dogs, most for the 1 mile Fun Run, although I don’t know why. People love to take their dogs with them. There was a group of German Shepherd owners with some beautiful animals, and the other dogs ranged from small to large, wearing bows, bandanas and full costumes.

There were families and clubs and sororities and church groups and friends who made it an excuse to get together for the morning. They wore matching tee shirts or costumes.

I love the women who ran in long skirts. Were they Amish, Mennonite, what?

I love the Santa pushing the stroller. Wonder what his little one thought? Especially when Santa quit pushing and started running beside him.

It was fun to watch the crowd gather and then head out to the tall buildings of Tulsa. Marc kept looking up and I realized he wasn’t used to walking downtown. It was an opportunity for me to tell stories of my childhood, coming to movies & shopping downtown. He couldn’t believe there used to be movie palaces downtown. I pointed out places along the way that he might not have noticed.

We didn’t break any records, in fact we walked slower than I usually do. Maybe it was all the people watching we were doing or talking to Marc or taking pictures or just enjoying the whole experience. We crossed the Finish Line and then went to get coneys. I’d say it was a good morning.

Tags family, Jingle Bell Run, race, walk

Categories Events, Family, Holidays, Reflections

My Life with Santa

December 7, 2012 //

I believe in Santa. This is evident as I unpack the 100s of Santas I have in my house today. As I look at each one, a memory snaps into my mind and I am taken back 10 years, 30 years, 50 or 60 years…

I only have one photo of me as a child with Santa. My brother and I are visiting him and it’s hard to say what I’m thinking. I was five years old. But, I do know that I was a little girl who believed all the fairy tales and Santa stories I read. My friend, Hal Balch, gave me a copy of The Night Before Christmas for my 6th birthday and I still have it. It was an oversized pop-up book and I saw it (in better condition than mine) on eBay for $350 one time. I read it to my four kids every year on Christmas Eve.

My birthday is in December and I got married on December 23, so December is a month for me to celebrate. I bought a funny little Santa on sale before I got married and put him on the top of our first Christmas tree, which was right around our first anniversary. I still put him on my Christmas tree. I don’t know why I put Santa rather than a star or an angel, but he seemed to fit up there with his funny little smile.

One year, as a young mother, I read a ladies magazine article on decorating for the holidays and it said to group your collections. I looked around and saw that I had accumulated a lot of Santas and so it began. I was a Santa collector. I know lots of Santa collectors and every one of us has a unique collection. Some like hand crafted Santas, some collect vintage Santas. I am beyond eclectic. I have Santas from everywhere and every price. Some of my favorites cost a couple of dollars, some are flea market finds, some were created by Santa artists.

The thing about having a lot of Santas, for better or worse, is that people start giving you Santas, especially when your birthday is in December. Some of my favorites are from dear friends and I remember those friendships every Christmas as I pass each funky little guy.

Santas were a fun thing to look for when I traveled. I have Santa matchbooks from a department store in Paris, and this crazy Santa in a car that I got for $5 on a street in Hong Kong. What a fun way to remember special trips.

I found the Santa on the left in a flea market in Vienna and the troll Santa is from Denmark. I have Lego Santas I got in Switzerland. I learned how universal my beloved guy is.

I have Santas from my childhood, with the earliest being the tall skinny one here behind the cow Santa we found in New Orleans.

When my mother died, I brought these funny little Santas home with me. I think she got the trees at Neiman Marcus and the Santas probably held candy at one time. All I know is that they remind me of Christmas at home.

There are Santas I made…these are needlepoint.

There are Santas with stories. One summer, times were rough as they sometimes are in families. My oldest daughter, my son and I were at the flea market, killing time on a Saturday morning. We spotted the big vintage lighted Santa face. I think it was $30 and we had $32. I asked them what they thought and they both said to get it. You know what? Everything got better after we got that Santa. He is a bright light to remind me that we can always get through life’s ups and downs with love and hope.

My kids gave me Santas through the years. I love this one that my son gave me for my birthday the year he was 13. I always picture him finding it in a craft booth. Sweet memory.

My husband gave me Santas. In 1997, our three daughters each had a son, making us grandparents. That year, Alan was battling cancer. He brought me a Waterford Santa for my birthday, a Santa with a little boy in his lap.

My Santas are grouped around the house, all over the house. There are bathing Santas in the bathroom, Santa bears, Santa rabbits, Santa’s workshops, Santa boxes, sleeping Santas, Santa bells…each with his own story.

If you have forgotten or never knew the magic of finding presents from Santa, you may not understand. Even when I knew better, even when I should have been too old to get that excited, I would lie in bed and listen for my parents’ steps as they put out the gifts. I would lie in bed and wait until all was silent again and sneak to the fireplace to see the Christmas lights and marvel at the gifts. It didn’t matter what they were – there was something magical about it. I would go back to bed, lying there basking in the wonder of it all, waiting until my brother and sister got up and we would all go in together.

You can understand when I say I never did have the “Santa discussion” with my kids. What difference would that have made? Santa was always going to come to our house. I may have told them it was up to them whether they wanted to believe or not. One of my favorite memories was the year my son got a special bike – he may have been 10 or 11. The kids woke us, way too early, and we all came downstairs together. I remember him saying, in the most excited voice, “Did you see what I got? Look at this?” I was struck with the magic that he was thinking his father and I were as surprised as he was that the bike was there, I just smiled at him.

It was a shock when I found myself alone on Christmas mornings, but it’s ok and the way the world is supposed to be. We still have Grand Santa at my house with stockings for everyone. We’re up to 16 stockings now for my children, their spouses and the grandkids.

When I was in my 20s, I volunteered with a group called Junior Philharmonic and our fundraiser was Santa House. I worked at it for several years and often dressed as an elf, where I discovered the magic of children who really believed I was an elf! There’s nothing like looking into the eyes of an innocent two or three year old who thinks you work for the man himself.

Years later, I went to work for Philbrook Museum of Art as the Fundraising Events Manager and part of my job was to make sure Santa was at the annual Festival of Trees. I thought I’d come full circle – back to Santa. I can truly say that I am a close associate of Santa. I retired, but it was fun to see my three year old granddaughter trying to take in the fact that Santa was hugging her Mimi. We’re old friends, I told her.

So, I sit amongst my collection and drink in the special vibes that the Santas (and other holiday characters and my nativity sets) bring to my holidays. I remember childhood, friendships, trips and experiences from every decade of my life. When it’s time to pack them away, I’m always ready because I’ve got to go on to the new year and live it before I bring them out again.

The stories of my Santas are the story of my life. They represent friendships, groups I’ve worked with, jobs I’ve had, and my family. When the Santas are packed away, there are other things with other memories that I keep around me. It’s the clutter of my life that I wade through, knowing that I am lucky to have so much to cherish.

May you celebrate your life this season surrounded by all you love.

Tags Christmas, collection, holiday, Santa Claus

Categories Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories

Busy, Busy, Busy

December 6, 2012 //

Everyone is busy. Especially at this time of the year. Busy, Busy, Busy!

Really, I do get it. There is holiday shopping, holiday parades & visits to Santa, parties, cooking, decorating, sending cards (for those who still do that), wrapping and delivering presents, travel plans, holiday programs and worship services, and then there’s all the regular stuff we do. Some people are working extra hours or extra jobs. We’re all busy. I’m retired and I’m still busy.

But, we get too busy and too tired and we forget what we are busy for. What are we doing all these things for? Hopefully, it’s to celebrate a season that was born of love and giving and give back to those we cherish the most. Or show our caring side for people we don’t even know.

I have several groups of friends and individuals that I get together with on a regular basis. Some of them have said they are too busy to do it this month – wait until a time when we’re not so stretched. And I understand and feel the same way sometimes. I guess I’ve had enough loss in my life…my parents, my husband, my son, friends…to know that we should never put off being with the people we care about most. There is no certainty in life and there is always change. I wear myself out with the best of you, but I want to know that I’m worn out because I was working towards what means the most to me.

I want to celebrate this beautiful season with those who make my life so rich. I want to share my happiness with those less fortunate to pay it forward a little bit. I don’t want to be too busy. I need to re-evaulate my priorities and see if all this busyness is taking me away from those who mean the most to me.

Lord, that sounds so idealistic. Who doesn’t want that? The best I can do is try to make Busy into a good word, a word that shows I’m trying and I care. I don’t want to hate being busy because it is what keeps me vital. I want to be busy and balanced at the same time.

That’s what I want for Christmas! Balanced busyness!

Categories Holidays, Reflections

Halloween

October 31, 2012 //

Halloween has become one of the biggest holidays of the year. Back in my day, we dressed up in simple costumes (gypsy, ghost, hobo) or wore the cheap ones from the dime store with the funny mask, grabbed a pillow case and ran up and down the streets trick or treating. My grandmother had candy corn in a dish through Thanksgiving – a sure sign it was fall. After a certain age, we didn’t need our parents with us and ran for blocks, filling our case and coming home for another one. We had sacks of candy (full size bars), popcorn balls, and carmel apples hidden under our beds for weeks. Nobody worried about poison from the neighbors and nobody worried about us getting grabbed off the streets. Sometimes there would be a party with bobbing for apples, cider, popcorn and snacks. I don’t remember ever seeing an adult in costume unless a rare one dressed up as a witch with a caldron of dry ice steaming at the door.

My, how it has changed! By the time my kids were big enough to go out, there were more decorations than just the construction paper cut outs we made. I dreaded the costumes since that really wasn’t one of my strengths, but we muddled through. Occasionally there was a costume party with our friends. In our neighborhood, the dads went out with the kids and you could see them in the streets laughing, drinking a beer, watching the kids run up and down while the moms opened the doors with treats, waving to all. Then that first bit of aspirin was found in candy and people started having private parties and strangers started bringing their kids from the “unsafe” neighborhoods to the nicer ones for treats so we didn’t know who was at the door. That was ok since treats were getting more expensive and I understood those parents wanting to give their kids a better experience with less worry. I was sad when my mother started turning off her lights and pretending she wasn’t home for fear of the big kids who came to the door long after the trick or treating should have ended. It was a new era and Halloween had gotten a little scarier.

By the time I opened my gift shop in 1992, the Halloween phenomenon was an explosion. Decorations were getting pretty fancy and adult parties were the norm. Costumes were more elaborate and the kids I had handed treats were not wanting to stop dressing up. Parties in bars, parties at churches, parties in neighborhoods…Halloween was everywhere! The candy companies got smart and learned the power of packaging with treat sizes and holiday themed wrappers. Smart business! What an array of treat choices we have today with the greatest danger being buying them too early and then having to get more when you realize you have eaten them all way before the holiday.

I still get a kick out of the kids coming to the door. They’re always polite, sometimes shy, sometimes bold. Great costumes. Their parents come right up to the door these days…hovering over the kids. That part is a little sadder. Some of the fun is gone for the kids…but, that’s just my opinion. It’s still a great holiday and I love that it’s enjoyed by all ages! Have a Happy Halloween, come by my house for treats, and be safe out there!

Tags family, Halloween, holidays, traditions

Categories Family, Holidays

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